Well it has been a few days and I have been very strict and doing just fine. I think I am down a grand total of 3 pounds in these few days. I however have been reading a book that does not embrace paleo. It is the Trim Healthy Mama. I keep seeing so much about this book and women following this plan. They are two sisters who are not docotors or anything special. They are christian women who set out to help other women struggling with weight. A gal I know lost her weight with paleo and then switched to THM to maintain. Now she was no plus size gal to begin with but I value her opinion. I bought the book and have read through most of it.
I am very intrigued by all they have to say and their food plan. It includes so many things that paleo does not. I find myself already bored with paleo. It is super easy because, HELLO, it is simply meat and veggies. But, it is boring. My hubby is still Paleo but I am day one into the THM way. I am going to give this a go and am sorry to all you Paleo people out there. I know the majority of you are just following my journey to support me and won’t care a bit. I am unsure about the plan and its results. It honestly seems to good to be true. Can I possibly lose weight while getting to eat all these foods? I mean really the only thing they have banned that I am recalling is the white stuff, sugar and potatoes. We all know they aren’t healthy so no biggie giving those up. I have made it thru the worst of the sugar withdrawals so that should help tremendously. So bear with me. The blog is now titled Fat Girl Gone. I loved that first blog anyway and love using the title. I am a fat girl gone. I am leaving behind this bondage one way or another. So stay tunned and let’s test THM together!
Where you been so long? You all just left me here in the land of paleo all by my lonesome? Just kidding. I took a little break as well. I stopped cold turkey one day and never looked back. Well, I am looking back and my back is looking…..UGHHHHHHH! I will stop there. It is time to get back on board. I have gained all my weight back and shall venture to take it off again with another 40 of its friends. I have a long road ahead of me and look forward to getting back on the wagon. As with the last time the worst thing for me today has been the 20 oz bottle of coke in my fridge that calls me, no beckons me to the fridge. I have not answered the cute little bottle but it has been tough. I am feeling strong and up to the challenge today. Everyone is waiting for the first to begin a weight loss regime and I thought I would get a jump start this week.
Many things have changed. I have moved twice since my last blog. I moved home for a bit and now I am back in the sunny land of Florida. I went from a stay at home mom to a working mom while I was in Virginia. I am back to staying home. I have not decided which avenue of excercise I am going to venture down. I have a few choices here. I have the YMCA that I love, crossfit that my hubby loves, and yoga that I enjoy immensely. I know it should be yoga hands down but I get a little creeped out with the whole spiritual nuttiness of Yoga. I solely want exercise and have no desire to realign my Shakras. I haven’t made a move either way yet. I am taking my time for now and just getting my eating under control. So if my blogs are sporadic for now you know why. I am sure I will get back to purging my soul to you all daily soon. Until then wish me luck and happy trails. I am wishing the same to you all.
Happy hump day to you all. I love a hump day. It means the weekend is almost upon us. It is Wednesday and that means I have to hike my large self upon the scale and report in on what it read. Drum roll please…………………………………………………….I weighed in at 220lbs! I was down another 3 pounds woohoo! That makes me down 28 pounds in 8 weeks, not too shabby! No wonder I was craving every bad for you faux food out there. The enemy knew I was getting ready for some more weight loss. I need these weight loss weeks for those horrible cravings that I am denying! I have found a way to really help me with all of this. I have decided to get a new hobby. One that is time consuming as well as something that keeps my hands busy. I have always wanted to sew and quilt and I have bought a machine and made my first quilt. I was too focused on paleo and weight loss. If this is a true lifestyle change then I need not to focus on it like I am doing weight watchers and weighing in with the sweet formerly fat ladies twice a week….extreme I know! I have a real issue with doing something a little overkill and that is what was going on with me. I haven’t been doing the blog daily just to try to shift my focus some and keep it at a healthy level. I am trying to post something on the facebook page daily to keep myself and anyone else on track. I want to know how you guys are doing as well. I haven’t heard from anyone in a while and I am wondering where everyone went. This is a tough time of year as school is letting out and baseball is in full swing so I am thinking that is where most of you guys are. I hope you are doing well and continuing on! Blessings and love to you. I am out the door to a baseball game…imagine that 🙂
It is Tuesday and what a Tuesday it is. The world seems to be falling apart today and it is just tough to wrap your head around. I was so discouraged this morning with all the sad news on the television. It made for a bleak morning. But it didn’t start this morning. I have had a rough couple of days due to some nasty cravings. It has been really tough the last couple of days so I knew it was time for a blog post.
I have wanted to eat every carb and piece of crap not nailed down. I didn’t but man would I have liked to. I am so surprised that this long into this lifestyle change that these cravings were as intense as they were. I thought for sure I had seen the last of those bad boys. I was cooking my breakfast listening to Pandora when the song Lord I Need You by Chris Tomlin came on and it had a line that really spoke to me. Where sin runs deep your grace is more! WOW…..I hadn’t thought of how deep this food thing runs. It isn’t something I developed overnight. I just thought it would take care of itself by not eating junk. If it didn’t feed it it wouldn’t live was my thinking. There are some roots to this addiction/sin/bondage. These roots are fighting the roots God is forming to keep me whole and it is taking time. I didn’t give in but I threw a few fits over hating not eating chips, cake, pasta, or (insert any non-food that controls you). These fits have gotten so good that Nick doesn’t even try to combat them anymore with healthy alternatives he just says “I’m sorry”. BLAH>>>>>>>>> Sorry makes me wanna spill his blood but what can he do? This isn’t his battle. This is my battle that God is winning and I keep forgetting that. I am going to post the song at the end of this and I hope you will listen and read the lyrics and really get it like my soul got it this morning. Lord I need you, your grace is found where you are and where you are I am free……………………we are free…………..when the Son sets you free you are free indeed!! See you tomorrow as I weigh in! Blessings, love, comfort, and freedom to you!
Weigh in Wednesday is upon me again. I wake up with a half excited half dreadful heart every Wednesday morning. I know I am having success in many different things other than weight but weight is what I am truly wanting to see go down. I weighed in at 223 pounds. I was down 2 pounds for the seventh week. Can you believe it has been 7 weeks??? Can you believe I am down 25 pounds in total?? I am so ecstatic about that. The only problem is that I cannot tell on my body. I know that sounds crazy but I was at such a large size that it isn’t drastically noticeable. I know the next 25 pounds will be so I am just looking forward to that. 25 more pounds down is my next goal.
Now lets talk about some soul stirrings I have had going on today. I again sat down and had no idea where to go today. That is scary to me because I can set down and talk to anyone about any ole thing and usually I can write just the same. Today was a different story. I don’t know why the blocks seem to come here and there it is really strange to me. I can only guess that God has something mighty to say and torpedoes are being launched to scramble the communication from the Holy Spirit. I sat down and I could hear a sermon from the living room television. It was on having a solid foundation. I think that is of the utmost importance when dealing with changing your lifestyle in such a huge way. This is not easy as most of you are finding just as I am. There are crazy cravings that come out of nowhere to thwart our efforts. This weekend was especially tough for me in the cravings department. I am lucky to have a live in Paleo nut to help keep me on track. He is getting good at redirecting me lol. I whine and beg for crap food and he takes us on an excursion into this very historic area. When he is not around I can see God giving me outs. I was desperately craving sugary junk and all of a sudden the idea of a hot bath and painting my nails became an option. I took the out and realized immediately it was God giving the out he has promised us when we are facing temptation. So if you get to the place where you are being tempted and think you cannot deal with it remember God WILL GIVE YOU AN ESCAPE OPTION! Look for it and take it. Don’t wait and weigh them out just take the out quickly and run!
This has also been a time of waiting on the Lord for these physical changes I so desperately want. I told Nick last night that I feel like maybe God is testing me before he allows me to proceed. I have lost a few pounds and turned back to my awful way of eating before. I have not treasured the deliverance and remained where God allowed me to go. I really believe I have to show Him that I am serious and this is it. This is not just a weight loss effort it is also a health change. I am not going to find a great weight and go back to pouring sugar down my throat. I am on a journey of learning how these “foods” are killers to our bodies and eliminating them. Now does that mean I will never consume sugar again? No, it simply means that most of the time I will not put sugar in my body. I really believe in this way of eating and the science as to why to eat this way is phenomenal. I don’t want to feed my kids garbage anymore. I want to educate them on these same things as well. I want them to be empowered to make great choices all their lives so they never find themselves in this bondage. And it is bondage! It is just really acceptable bondage in our christian world now days. I just wear my sin/addiction on the outside and decorate it pretty and the church is cool with that. Well I am not! I know that living this way is putting many many things above my deep need for Christ. I am filling my lonely, mad, angry, sad, etc. self with anything and everything but God. It is the truth. I pray if I am stepping on your toes that you will not be hurt. That is the last thing I want. This is me being honest about me! I don’t want anything filling those nasty ugly places but the light of God. I know that is the only way true deliverance will come. Things have to be brought from the dark to the light. So I pray for all who read this today you’d allow God to shine his light into some of those dark places. I know it is scary and painful at times but the only way to heal it is to go through it! Blessings, healing, and love to you!
So one thing I should mention about Nick(my hubs) is that he is an avid crossfitter! He is so into this crossfit movement that we have a complete setup in our garage. I mean complete real deal rogue equipment. He has a rack, rings, bumper plates, a box, medicine balls, kettle balls, and any other thing used by crossfitters around the world. He is crossfitting as we speak…or should I say completing his WOD(work out of the day). I decided it was time for me to give crossfit another try. I have not wanted to do the workouts at the gym and thought well I will just workout with Nick. He is no shlump at this stuff and a great motivator and teacher of the stuff. So I have no excuses to not be crossfitting my little heart out. I rolled out of bed this morning knowing today is the day and I am ready to restart. I also had so much motivation to do it from a buddy of Nicks who posted about a really old lady crossfitting….no excuse would combat that! She was geriatric and not a slender lady at that. So I didn’t shower this morning knowing I would need to after our workout. I put on an extra tight boulder holder as I knew these workouts are intense. I even put on one of Nick’s crossfit workout shirts(he has an obsession with these!). Might I say the shirt was like Saran wrap the last time I attempted to wear it and it was snug but wearable today…GO ME! I was ready! Nick got home from work, changed clothes, and we headed to the garage. He explained to me my workout and I could already feel that nasty rebellious spirit inching up my throat and waiting to spew its venom. Nick of course would make the best target for such venom. I mean he is fit and muscular and donning a stupid t-shirt. I just went the full gamut on him. He said I would do pull ups and I refused even with a band that makes them manageable for me. He then said I would do squats and I told him I didn’t want to do leg exercises that I didn’t like them with a plethora of reasons why I should not do them. He then said I would row 150 whatever on the rower for cardio and I said I didn’t want to do cardio that is why I picked crossfit. At this time he is starting to get annoyed and tells me, “You are in the wrong place sister. This is crossfit not cross….(insert too many to type words i.e. sit, fit, butler, baby….” He is a wise guy at heart so the quippy comebacks were flowing. We started the timer and off we went. I started on the rower and as soon as he went out of the garage I unbuckled the shoe straps and went into the house. I pecked on the window and waved at him and he yelled, “what are you doing?” in a gruff caveman voice. I told him laundry and came to this post. I just couldn’t muster up the want to get it done. I went outside about five minutes later to ask him what my favorite quip he had hurled at me and he convinced me to do my workout as his was done and he would stay with me during it. I objected vehemently but he won out and what was meant as a word expedition for my quitters blog turned into a crossfit workout! GO ME! I finished 3 almost 4 rounds of a grueling workout that the WOD lovers would have scoffed at the ease of. It was tough and I hated Nick, even verbally at times, but I finished it. I started on the rower, then went to squats holding a medicine ball, then push ups, and finally an overhead plate carry. It sucked but I did it and Nick lived to tell about it. To sum this up Nick, who dreams of opening a crossfit box/studio one day, said when he opened one he knew the name of it after this work out. Crossfit Hate lol!
I don’t know what has gotten into me lately but my workouts have been few and far between. I have not given up. I am just moving much slower than before. It’s ok because everyone needs a drive in the slow lane from time to time. It is a problem if you get out of the car all together and my car is cruising right along! Blessings and weigh loss to us! Especially me as tomorrow is weigh in day!
It’s Friday…woohoo! I am in week seven of my paleo lifestyle change and I am down 24 pounds. I am one happy chickadee! What has changed for me? I have amazing energy, I have found that I can live without soda, I have found that I like water or at the least am tolerating it well, and I have found that as these last weeks have been tough that I am not easily scared away. I would have quit this by now if I did not see losing numbers every week in my prechange lifestyle. We are a society of people who want what we want now and when we don’t get it we move on to something new(Thank You Holly). We have cell phones that give us information on demand. And boy do we Demand much! I have been a part of this demanding generation all my life. I think that is a bit of the problem with why I got so heavy and depressed in the first place. I don’t like to be stretched at all in any area of my life and if I am stretched then I retreat and go a different direction. This used to be called a quitter but we are so much nicer these days. I am learning to keep the course on many things. I have felt like God called me to stay home with my kids almost 7 years ago. Yet I have went to a plethora of schools and jobs when staying home gets tough(and it is always tough with three boys and a husband who seems to stay abroad more than stateside). Why is that? I KNOW staying home is where I am supposed to be and I fight it so often. I know eating crappy food is killing me and I did it anyway. I knew smoking would give me cancer but I did it anyway! What is this rebellious side of me that keeps me “moving on” so often? Well I just said it. It is a rebellious spirit within me, the flesh if you will. This reminds me of the verse the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. So when I am finding myself in the flesh these days I am recognizing it more and more and moving away from the fleshy part of myself. Sometimes I am doing so with a bad attitude(My flesh has rebellious super powers) but I am doing so. This lifestyle change is just another place where I must kill this stinking flesh to take on what the spirit already knows. It is painful at times. It is a pain in my butt at times. It is scary at times to be in a new place where all the old things I know are wrong. I am, however, staying in the scary place. My goal(and butt) is too big to stay in the known places.
I know this isn’t on paleo today but for some reason this is the place my words took me and my words are always tied to my heart. On a paleo note I ordered a gluten free pizza from Dominos today and ate it happily. I ate the cheese that I normally do not eat in my eating plan. It was good and I had no guilt. This is exactly where I wanted to be. I did not fall off the wagon. I did not quit. I had a treat and it was great. Tonight’s dinner is marinating in the fridge and it is paleo. I wanna treat myself with as much grace as I would you if you called and told me you ate a pizza full of gluten today. I would say OK, no big deal! This is your life and you are going to have pizza again after today. It isn’t about what we do one time. It is about what we are doing all the other time. I so love that last sentence! It is the same in our christian walk. It isn’t about what we do that one time that we are ashamed of. It is about what we are doing all the other time. I think if we started treating ourselves with the grace we would others we would be a sweeter and kinder bunch of people! I hope this blesses someone today. Well it already has me. You get to journey along with me as I type, epiphany after epiphany. Blessings and weight loss/healthiness to you!